Raising Awareness About ‘Raising Awareness’

Greetings internet accessing people of the world; I’m here today to tell you about a huge problem facing every human being alive today. Were you aware that your awareness levels of certain issues are greatly lacking? So much so that billions of dollars are raised and spent annually just to make sure you are well aware of the various ills of world and society we occupy? I bet not. You are just letting these billions of dollars be spent needlessly if you do not do something to keep your awareness on an upward trend.

The Second Most Aware Man in the World!The average awareness for the average person in the average country today is approximately .3715 AOBs (aware-o-balls); this is, simply put, completely unnacceptable. Ex-Vice President and social activist Al Gore’s awareness is an astounding .8943 AOBs; Leonardo Di Caprio? A maejstic .9368 AOBs. Wow! They’re so aware!

To this tune, we have raised the astonishing figure of $6.6 billion in order to start a grass roots internet campaign to inform you, the common man, about the disheartening lack of awareness in you, the common man. For it is only if we all become super-aware, that we can begin to raise money and form organizations to actually combat the multiple problems in the world.

We thank you for your time in reading this.

-Mr. F. E. Cecious


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